What do we do when we see a friend of ours coming towards us? What do we do at the beginning of each meeting, whether it is a business meeting or a meeting with friends? What is the behavior that we do when we meet or say goodbye to our family and loved ones?
The first behavior that a person follows at that moment is shaking hands and greeting, and this tactful behavior that has been inherited by generations and civilizations throughout history. We will learn about it and its methods and meanings in this article of ours. So stay tuned.
What is a handshake?
The handshake is known as a meeting and intertwining of hands, and it is considered a kind of greeting, agreement, or farewell, and it depends on placing the right hand of each person in an intertwined manner between them while moving them up and down, and it is one of the most common types of greetings in the world and sometimes differs from one community to another; A handshake is a kind of exchange of affection and feelings between people.
Handshake modalities:
There are several ways to shake hands, which we will learn about as follows:
1. The Dead Fish Handshake
It is a kind of handshake that does not carry any emotions, is filled with coldness, indifference, and lack of interest, and is used by strangers or people who carry feelings of hatred or indifference towards others.
2. The dominant handshake:
It is a handshake that takes place based on imposing control over the other person; The dominant takes hold of the other person’s hand and turns it so that the palm is up and the back of the hand is down; This indicates his control and control over the person shaking hands.
3. Tiptoeing:
This handshake is a way for women to show their tenderness and elevation. It is by extending the fingers and thumb in a handshake without using the palm.
4. Bone-crushing handshake:
It is an intense expression of strength and is used by men most of the time, in addition to being used to express anger and hatred for one of them. The hand-shaking hands are held and pressed very hard, hurtful, and excruciating.
5. The superior handshake:
It is a type of handshake that is done by extending the palm and its palm facing downward before intertwining the hands; To show his superiority over his handshake and his distinction from him.
6. The Submissive Handshake:
It is a handshake that takes place by extending the palm and its palm facing upwards before intertwining the hands; To show submission and obedience.
7. The impulsive handshake:
It is a kind of passive handshake. As the person shaking hands pushes the other hand away from him in a rude manner that expresses hatred and anger.
8. The Twisting Handshake:
a type of dominant handshake; As the person claiming control pulls the hand of the handshake towards him to indicate that he is in control.
Handshake and personality:
Handshaking has always been a method used by people since ancient times to greet, agree, or farewell, and others, as we mentioned previously, but this handshake and its various methods may reflect many people’s personalities, reveal many secrets and information about them, and distinguish between them.
The handshake has now become an interaction rooted in the personality of human beings when greeting, farewell, meeting, congratulations, etc., and each person is characterized by a way of shaking hands that differs from the other; Some of them shake hands strongly, and some of them shake hands softly, including short handshakes and long ones. The duration and strength of the handshake, eye contact, and speech between them express the personality.
The study also confirmed that a strong and intense handshake expresses confidence of the handshake in himself, but it gives the impression of a lack of respect and recklessness of the person shaking hands, as well as a short, quick, and flabby handshake that expresses a lack of respect or lack of interest and indifference of the person shaking hands with the other, while a handshake with gloves strengthens confidence and feelings Tranquility and attention, in addition to shaking hands with fists, express friendship, the strength of the bond between the shakers, and feelings of loyalty and familiarity.
Likewise, some psychologists at the University of Alabama conducted a study on 112 volunteers with different handshake methods, and the impressions and differences between them were revealed. They found that those who have a strong handshake and are characterized by a strong and confident personality tend to be open to everything new, while those who have a weak handshake have an insecure personality and tend to be nervous, shy, and not open to social relationships.
The perfect handshake:
Some actions make a person’s handshake perfect, such as making eye contact; It is one of the most important factors for the success of the handshake. It expresses the person’s interest in the other and his desire to communicate with him. Therefore, it is preferable to enable eye contact during the handshake as much as possible, but it is important to pay attention and read the situation and the surrounding atmosphere while applying eye contact. it can be misunderstood, and eye contact can also express different feelings such as challenge, hate, or love, and the matter varies between each handshake and another.
There is a type of handshake that is considered intimate and transmits a feeling of safety, love, and spiritual connection, which is the embrace with hands, and it varies between strong hugs, weak hugs, and moderate hugs, and each of them indicates a feeling; A weak hug indicates indifference and complacency in the relationship and gives a negative feeling to the other. A strong, intense hug gives a feeling of detention and disharmony, but at the same time, it may be an expression of intense longing and love. A moderate hug indicates safety, absorption, and a desire to feel comfortable.
However, hugging is an intimate method that should not be used with all people. As it is often between people who have only love or friendship relationships, controls and limits must be taken when performing it from not performing it so that the other person does not feel strange or in control of his personal space; So some people think that shaking hands is better. This is because it does not exceed the personal space of each individual shaking hands.
Types of handshake according to hand movement and direction:
1. Shake hands vigorously.
This type of handshake falls under the dominant type of handshake. As it sends a kind of feeling of control and invasion of personal space; Therefore, it is preferable to use a calm, balanced handshake, especially in the first meetings, to leave a good impression.
2. Shake hands with shaking:
It is considered one of the most common types of handshakes, especially among men who believe that it expresses intimacy and love, but it is the opposite. It expresses control, and we often see it between businessmen and co-workers.
3. Softly shaking hands:
This type of handshake is the calm, balanced type that expresses non-violation of the personal space of the person shaking hands, and gives the impression that the person shaking hands is a reasonable person who knows how to respect the other and shows his confident personality.
4. Handshake with eye contact:
As we talked about before, eye contact is a very important factor during a handshake. As the person expresses his interest and feelings to the person shaking hands increases the bond and trust between them.
Strategies for making a handshake attractive, sincere, and expressive:
Here are some strategies on how to shake hands that attract others honestly and expressively:
- Attention must be paid to external appearance and personal hygiene; It is not acceptable to shake hands with dirty or wet hands.
- You should not shake hands while holding a phone, a tissue, or a bag.
- Not extending the hand to shake hands before noticing that the person to be greeted has noticed your presence and looked at you; This is to avoid embarrassing situations involving inattention.
- Allow the person you’re shaking hands with to end the handshake and not rush to end the handshake suddenly or withdraw your hand from the hand of the other so as not to be misunderstood or embarrass the other with your behavior.
- Eye contact during a handshake shows mutual interest and respect.
- Apologizing and avoiding shaking hands while eating or talking on the phone so as not to cause embarrassment to the other person and not be interpreted as a kind of lack of interest or as a passing greeting.
- Do not shake hands with a hand other than the right hand.
- Do not shake hands while wearing glasses or headphones. It must be taken off before the meeting and the initiative to shake hands.
- Do not shake hands and put the second hand in your pocket.
- A handshake with a smiley face, a salutation, and uttering beautiful and polite words.
- Taking into account the way of shaking hands, body language, the surrounding atmosphere, the personality, gender, and age of the handshake; As the handshake differs between a man for a man, a man for a woman, and a woman for a woman, each of them has special methods and specific performance.
in conclusion:
In this article, we got to know the handshake, its methods, and meanings, and we talked about the ideal handshake method while giving some strategies for an expressive and attractive handshake, and we talked about shaking hands in Islam while attaching some hadiths from the Sunnah in the hope of achieving the desired benefit from it.
